Al Zawahiri Doesn’t Eat Here Anymore, Ch. 14 of Kramberger with Monkey

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Chapter Fourteen

Al Zawahiri Doesn’t Eat Here Anymore

 Okay, here’s the Todd Fullmer piece that pegged him as a loose cannon and may have had something to do with his interest in an assassination that has received little attention even in the country where it occurred: I suppose you could say I was a patriot even before the Patriot Missile. I may still be a patriot. But today I’m not proud to be an American. Yesterday the saga of political assassination reached a new nadir when three American predator drones—which I mention blandly as if they were an everyday phenomenon (more to come on those devils)—destroyed with their missiles a compound of three houses in a remote village in Pakistan near the Afghan border, killing 18 people, none of whom was Al Zawahiri, supposed mentor of Osama bin Laden, the presumed, and indeed announced, target of the assault. The word intelligence has been used loosely for some time now, so when American sources say their intelligence had Al Zawahiri dining in one of the three houses obliterated, I am not surprised that he wasn’t there at all. If they stated that their intelligence was up deep in their own colons I might believe them. But even a predator drone would have a difficult time finding it without being noticed. Then again, given the level of said intelligence, maybe it could. Imagine some fat fingered and fatuous American military fuck slapping at his own bunghole muttering questioningly, ‘Sumpen up dar?’ How do you believe in an afterlife when this is the kind of life we have to witness and endure? Yet, I in my idealistic naiveté do imagine an afterlife, if only to have John Fitzgerald Kennedy with me when I report on an assassination. Here’s his commentary on his own: ‘See how they managed it? Several gunmen, all shooting individual bullets at me, me!, intending to kill me, killing only me. Just like with the Archduke—at least they tried just to kill him. Shit, I could have killed Castro if I accepted a dozen or more ancillary casualties, but you just can’t do that. You kill Castro and that’s it. It’s not even a matter of fair play—it’s a matter of humanity. Look at Jacquie, the life she had after they got me. Not bad, eh? Well good on her. She’d been through hell. If they would have shot her, too, if they would have tossed a grenade into the car…well, I wouldn’t be so understanding.’ Christ! Even Stalin killed them one at a time. And he always got his man, woman or child, too. Reports from Pakistan will of course emphasize that among the 18 were some women and children, but in a case like this what is the fucking difference? What if it were nine grown men? Then it would be okay? What if it were nine grown men, and one Al Zawahiri? What if it were nine grown men, one Al Zawahiri, one Osama, one Lukaschenko, and three dwarf rapers? This is what Americans are doing now? Some kid on a ship in the Arabian Sea sitting at a computer like he’s playing some goddamn computer game—well he is, actually—is maneuvering planes without pilots armed with deadly missiles, often even accurate, quite unfortunately so in this case, while peasants sit around a table eating with their hands, praising god in their innocence, living off the little they have and their love for each other, and this kid on the ship, one hand playing with his balls like all kids on computers are wont to do, types in the code, presses the button, and they all get blown to pieces. This is what Americans are doing now? I remember the first predator drone assassination I know of committed by Americans—2002 in Yemen. Targeted terrorist torn to bits along with five others in the car. I let it go. I had a momentary reservation, but I had something else going on and I told myself that the government announced the killing of one particular terrorist because he was on a list or something, but the others in the car were killers, too, and I let it go. But deep inside me was a voice, JFK, asking me Is this what Americans are doing now?As I have noted elsewhere, no less than 25 Roman emperors were assassinated.  It seemed like a lot at the time. Imagine if it were 25 American presidents. Now 18 Pakistani villagers have been assassinated in one attack. 25 Roman emperors doesn’t seem like so many. And 25 American presidents seems like a good idea. What was that? What did Fullmer just write? Yes, you got it, that’s what American reporters are writing now. Anything wrong with that? Gonzo!

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