Letters From Uzbekistan: Sex Tourism, a literature of misunderstanding

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This brief conversation really occurred this past weekend:
Stranger
Lives in XXXXXXX, Asia

S: Hey, can you guide me to having sex in Tashkent?

Rick: You have to find out whether Arslan Levantinov is minister of tourism first.
S: Umm why?

Rick: He’s my only connection in Uzbekistan and I am unsure whether he is still in charge or in prison.

S: Ohkay
Can you just give an address of some adult place?

Rick: No, sorry, I only have accounts from people who have been there, with names that are often clearly false…The best thing would be to consult a taxi driver. Despite what you might hear, taxi drivers throughout the world are for the most part quite honest.

S: Okay thank you
Chat Conversation End

 

 

 

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Letters from Uzbekistan: Sex Tourism

A brief note from Minister of Tourism, Arslan Levantinov

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Dear Rick,

Please convey (convey is okay? conveyor belt we have here) to you readers that this Saipov in no way represents the values and desires of Uzbekistan peoples. Look how short he is. In our country that is dwarf height.

thank you,

Arslan

P.R. It has come to our noticeable attention that this dirty little Saipov (what we call ‘creep’ in Uzbeki–like a girl would say “Get lost, you saipov!”) had a paintball gun. This is not sport allowed in Uzbekistan. Please send by conveyor to your peoples.

Letters from Uzbekistan: Sex Tourism (XXX)

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I received a torn portion of a letter from my man in Tashkent, Re Cosmico, yesterday, along with a formal apology from the national postal service in Maribor, for apparently a postman smelled the envelope and whatever musk (it’s still faintly coming through whatever fumigant the authorities used) emanating from the thing, he could not restrain himself from tearing it open and eating with relish and his pupils the words within, a description of a visit to a Tashkent brother by Sr. Cosmico, of which as far as I can see only a fragment has been saved. I will publish that XXX rated fragment as soon as I am sure there is nothing being kept back by customs that was intended for my mailbox.

 

More very soon.